I came from an abusive background where both my parents were physically brutal with me and my brother. I have worked very very hard and spend most of my life recovering from child abuse. I feel handicap in a lot of ways because I see that I find it almost impossible to have a normal life like people who had a loving and caring free from trauma Family. I also had to keep quiet about the abuse and act normal and pretend that I could function normally when actually I could never do that . I never really feel safe around people in general and I am so afraid when I hear or read about child abuse. I have a child myself and she Is ten years old. I am so afraid that she gets sexually abused and gets told to keep it secret just the way I w told to keep secret when my parents were being abusive with me. Without making her afraid and panicked how can I protect her from this how can talk to her about this without making it something that could become alarming and damaging. Please I was never really told how to protect and to make my child aware of predators and I need guidance on how to approach this in a very loving way with my child.
I am also finding it very hard to trust and I don’t know how to distinguish a predator from a normal person since my own dad was abusive and he was normal for me. I seemed to put every one in the same basket everyone is an abuser to me because my dad was. But that is not true either. How do I know an abuser from a normal person and how do I talk about this with my child to protect her?
First of all, so glad that you are safe now and have began the hard work of healing!
Its great to see parents that are so vigilant in keeping their children safe – your daughter is so lucky to have you, and what you have been through means you are better equipped to protect her.
That said, it is important to keep it in perspective. Only a very small percentage of people (about 6%) would ever dream of hurting a child. Your daughter needs the opportunity to explore her world with appropriate independence, without fear so that she can develop in a healthy way. Don’t let the small minority ruin the enjoyment you and your daughter can share as she grows.
There are things that you can do to empower yourself and your daughter, the most important of all being talking/listening to your daughter :) Go here and check out our advice for parents: https://actionagainstabuse.wordpress.com/the-be-sure-before-campaign/whos-watching-your-children-advice-for-parents/
Also i think you might benefit from talking to someone about your fears if you feel they are affecting your life. You can contact the National Association for People Abused In Childhood here:http://www.napac.org.uk/
If there’s anything else we can help with, please don’t hesitate to give us a shout!
Sending you Love and healing x
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